Archive for February, 2010
What is implantation bleeding?
It is not unusual that some women experience implantation bleeding in the early stages of pregnancy. Any vaginal bleeding outside implantation bleeding of pregnancy is classified as a threatened miscarriage, meaning the pregnancy is threatening to miscarriage. About 25% of all pregnancies are actually miscarried but 50% of all threatened miscarriages settle down and a normal pregnancy happens.
When does implantation bleeding occur?
Implantation bleeding occurs very early in pregnancy as a direct result of the fertilized egg (your growing baby) burying and snuggling its way into the lining of your womb. Implantation bleeding occurs about 10-14 days after the egg has been fertilized or when conception occurred. This is also around the time when your menstrual cycles would be expected.
Signs of Implantation Bleeding:
Signs of implantation bleeding can vary from one pregnant woman to another. It normally mild in nature and is much lighter than a normal menstrual period.
The color of implantation bleeding:
The color of implantation bleeding can vary form bright red to brown implantation bleeding. Bright red implantation bleeding means that there is an active area of bleeding within the womb and blood is flowing from the site of implantation to the vagina very quickly. It may indicate that implantation has just occurred.
Brown implantation bleeding is the color of old blood. When you get brown implantation bleeding it normally means that when the fertilized egg buried it way into the womb, a little blood was released. The bleeding that occurred at the moment of implantation stayed in the womb for some time so by the time you see it on your underwear or when you wipe yourself it showed up as brown implantation bleeding.
How long does implantation bleeding last?
Most cases of implantation bleeding last for a few minutes to a few days. If implantation bleeding lasts more than a few days then it may be a sign of vaginal infection or a threatened miscarriage.
How heavy is implantation bleeding?
Heavy implantation bleeding is unusual. The only thing you might notice with implantation bleeding is a pinkish or brown discharge when you wipe yourself after you go to the bathroom.
Cramps with implantation bleeding:
Cramps with implantation bleeding can happen. You may even experience cramps with or without bleeding. The reason you may experience cramps with implantation bleeding is because as the fertilized egg buries into your womb, it caused the muscle of your womb to contract. These contractions press on nerve endings and may result in mild to moderate menstrual like pains for 24-48 hours.
What to do if you have signs of implantation bleeding:
Don’t panic if you have any of the above signs of implantation bleeding. Remember 50% of all cases of implantation bleeding end up in a normal pregnancy.
Know your blood type. Depending on your partner’s blood type and if you are a rhesus negative blood type then it may be necessary to have an Rh-immune globulin injection within 24 hours of any pregnancy bleeding.
If you suspect you may be pregnant and your bleeding is from implantation bleeding then do a home pregnancy test. This home test should remain positive. If it is positive and you do not know your blood Rhesus factor, then call your provider for consultation for possible Rh-immune globulin.
Never insert a tampon, douche, or have sexual intercourse while you are bleeding.
Keep track of whether the bleeding is increasing or decreasing and how many pads you are using.
If you feel your pregnancy bleeding is heavier or lasting longer than the above ranges then call your health care provider for consultation immediately.
Bleeding during pregnancy is scary. Your fear is picked up by your unborn child. Intra uterine fear can stay with your child for a lifetime, so constantly reassure your baby that he or she is wanted and loved. Want to know more about how pregnancy is like from your babies viewpoint then check out my Birth, A Conscious Choice. at http://www.PregnancySuccessCoach.com
You may also be very interested in an amazing message that was telepathically dictated to me for humanity from my son when he was seven-weeks old. Yes you read correctly! I have the ability to communicate with baby’s emotions from inside and outside the womb. Down load this AMAZING MESSAGE FREE at http://www.PregnancySuccessCoach.com/Message_For_Humanity.html
If you wish to ask me a personal question about your pregnancy or an issue in your life then visit http://www.PregnancySuccessCoach.com/Ask_Hannah_Section.html
Hannah Bajor. C.N.M.,M.S.N.
Certified Nurse Midwife
Pregnancy Success Coach
Hannah Bajor, C.N.M.,M.S.N. The Pregnancy Success & Holistic Health Coach has rightly earned her title! During her twenty-year active midwifery career Hannah has delivered over a thousand babies and cared for thousands of women before, during and after pregnancy. She has specialized in high-risk pregnancies and as a midwife has seen almost every possible complication during pregnancy.
She has a master?s degree in nursing and is a certified bereavement counselor for miscarriages and baby loss. She holds numerous certifications in the field of energetic healing. She is author of two highly acclaimed books: “Birth, A Conscious Choice” and “Sex Education For Students”.
Having personally experienced a miscarriage, unsuccessful infertility treatments, and a near death experience following the birth of her second son. As time passed, Hannah was driven to take her midwifery skills, her intuitive ability, and her knowledge about the energy anatomy of pregnancy and her formula for increasing fertility on an international scale. She is now in great demand for her international one-on-one coaching telephone practice and workshops. Her coaching and workshops serve to heal and empower women experiencing infertility, pregnancy, birth, miscarriage, adoption, abortion and post partum depression.
Also if i was 1-2 months pregnant what would one of the reasons be to why all pregnancy tests say negative?
My fiance and I are planning to conceive next year but neither of us knows how to properly punish a child. He was beaten by his dad until the man had a car accident and was confined to a wheelchair and after that he had no rules; I was hit often and given time-out occasionally, but as a teenager I too had no rules to follow. We want to give our child structure because we feel it’s important but we’re unsure how to punish a child for misbehavior.
Thank you Ariana, I really appreciate your advice and will look into parenting classes. =)
Attachment Facilitating Parenting
Arthur Becker-Weidman, Ph.D.
Center For Family Development
Many adopted and foster children have had very difficult and painful histories with their first parents. These children have experienced chronic early maltreatment within a caregiving relationship. Such a history can lead to the development of Complex Trauma (Cook et. al., 2003; Cook et. al., 2005), disorders of attachment, and Reactive Attachment Disorder. Children with histories of maltreatment, such as physical and psychological neglect, physical abuse, and sexual abuse, are at risk of developing severe psychiatric problems (Gauthier, Stollak, Messe, & Arnoff, 1996; Malinosky-Rummell & Hansen, 1993). These children are likely to develop Reactive Attachment Disorder (Greenberg, 1999; Lyons-Ruth & Jacobvitz, 1999). Approximately 2% of the population is adopted, and between 50% and 80% of such children have attachment disorder symptoms (Carlson, Cicchetti, Barnett, & Braunwald, 1995; Cicchetti, Cummings, Greenberg, & Marvin, 1990). Many of these children are violent (Robins, 1978) and aggressive (Prino & Peyrot, 1994) and as adults are at risk of developing a variety of psychological problems (Schreiber & Lyddon, 1998) and personality disorders, including antisocial personality disorder (Finzi, Cohen, Sapir, & Weizman, 2000), narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and psychopathic personality disorder (Dozier, Stovall, & Albus, 1999). Therapeutic Parenting is often necessary to help these children heal (Becker-Weidman, A., & Shell, D., 2005/2008). This approach to parenting is often not familiar to most parents and requires a significant amount of work and preparation. Attachment facilitating parenting is grounded in attachment theory and is based on a set of principles that include:
Sensitivity
Responsiveness
Following the child’s lead
The sharing of congruent intersubjective experiences
Creating a sense of safety and security
The effective implementation of these principles requires parents who:
Are strongly committed to the child.
Have well developed reflective abilities
Have good insightfulness
Have a relatively secure state of mind with respect to attachment
This type of parenting is consistent with Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy, which is an evidence-based and effective treatment for children with trauma and attachment disorders (Becker-Weidman & Hughes, 2008). Many foster and adoptive parents find their children’s behaviors strange, frightening, disturbing, and upsetting. They often don’t understand why their child behaves as the child does; “after all, my child is now safe, doesn’t he get it?” It can be difficult to appreciate the depth and pervasiveness of the damage caused by earlier maltreatment.
Therapeutic parenting based on Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy relies of helping parents understand what is causing the child’s behaviors. Looking deeper in order to understand what is motivating the child. All behavior is adaptive and functional; however sometimes the behaviors that were adaptive in one environment are ill-suited for the new home. If your first parents were neglectful, unreliable, and inconsistent so that you were often hungry and left alone for long periods of time, hoarding food, gorging, and going to “anyone” for help is adaptive. When that child is placed in a foster or adoptive home with caring, responsive, sensitive parents, that same behavior is no longer adaptive. By understanding what is driving the behavior and appreciating the child’s fear, anxieties, shame, and anger, the new parent will be better able to respond to the emotions driving the behavior rather than the surface behavior or symptoms. Unless the underlying emotions are addressed with sensitivity and within a safe, unconditionally loving, and supportive home, the behavior or symptoms are not likely to stop…they may change into other problems, but if the underlying cause remains, then the problems will surface again and again.
Let’s discuss the principles required. These principles are more fully elaborated elsewhere (Becker-Weidman & Shell, 2005; Becker-Weidman, 2007)
SENSITIVITY. Because children with trauma and attachment disorders are often unable to describe their internal states, emotions, or thoughts, it becomes the job of the parent to do this with and for the child so that the child learns to do this. Of course, this is precisely what one does with a newborn, toddler, and child. We often help children manage their internal states by doing that with them. When a baby cries, we pick up the baby, comfort the child, and by so doing, regulate the child’s level of arousal. Over time the infant becomes increasingly proficient at doing this independently. The parent of a foster or adopted child must be sensitive to the internal states of their child so that the parent can respond to the underlying emotions driving behavior.
RESPONSIVENESS. Once the underlying emotion is identified, the parent must respond to this need or emotion, with sensitivity. By meeting the child’s need (to feel safe, loved, cared about, for food, drink, joy, etc) the child will internalize new and healthier models of relationships and parents.
FOLLOWING THE CHILD’S LEAD. By this I mean that the parent will need to respond to the child and follow the child’s lead in the sense of providing what the child is needing (comfort, affection, support, structure, etc) and at the child’s pace. It is very important to move at the child’s pace to create the necessary sense of safety and security that these children need.
THE SHARING OF CONGRUENT INTERSUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCES. Intersubjectivity refers to shared emotion (also called attunement), share attention, and share intention. You can understand this if you think of playing a board game with your child. When you are playing some game together and enjoying the experience, you are sharing emotions (joy and a sense of competence), sharing attention (focusing on the game), and sharing intention (playing by the rules, both trying to win, having fun, etc.). Or another example, when talking about the death of the child’s loved grandparent, you both may share the same emotions (grief), both are recalling memories of the grandparent (shared intention and attention). It is the sharing of congruent intersubjective experiences, experiences in which all three elements are the shared, that helps the child heal and learn about intimacy and relationships.
CREATING A SENSE OF SAFETY AND SECURITY. Safety comes first. Unless the child is physically, emotionally, and psychologically safe, healing cannot occur. So, it is the job of the parent to create safety and security for the child. This then allows for the exploration of underlying feelings, thoughts, and memories. Without an alliance there can be no secure base. Without a secure base there can be no exploration. Without exploration there can be no integration. Without integration there can be no healing.
Unless the child feels safe, exploration is not possible.
So, what sort of parent is needed? We know form extensive research, that one of the best predictors of placement stability is the parent’s commitment to the child (Dozier, Grasso, Lindhiem, & Lewis, 2007). Therefore, building or rebuilding parental commitment is an important first step. Unless there is strong commitment, the child cannot feel safe and, as discussed above, safety is the most important first step in helping a hurt child heal.
Reflective capacity is also vital to placement stability and to the healing of adopted and foster children. The parent must be able to reflect on the child’s underlying emotions, how the past may be re-enacted in the present, and what in the parent’s own past is being triggered by the child. A well developed reflective function is necessary if the parent is to respond to the child in a healthy and healing manner. We all have buttons. The job of the therapeutic parent is to understand one’s buttons so that these can be disconnected so that when pushed, nothing happens.
Insightfulness (Koren-Karie, Oppenheim, Dolev, Sher, & Etzion-Carasso, 2002; Oppenheim, Koren-Karie, & Sagi, 2001; Oppenheim, & Koren-Karie, 2002; Oppenheim, Goldsmith, & Koren-Karie, 2005) is related to reflective capacity.
A parent’s state of mind with respect to attachment is the best predictor of the child’s. (Main, & Cassidy, 1988; Main, & Hesse, 1990). If the parent has a Secure state of mind with respect to attachment, then the adopted or foster child is more likely to develop a healthy and secure pattern of attachment and heal (Steele, Hodges, Kaniuk, Steele, Hillman, & Asquith, 2008). We know that when young children are placed in a foster home, the child will begin to develop a pattern of attachment that is the same as the foster parent’s state of mind with respect to attachment (Dozier, Stovall, Albus, & Bates, 2001). Obviously, in older children, this is a more difficult task. In the general population, about 60% of the adults have a secure state of mind with respect to attachment. For parents who have an insecure state of mind with respect to attachment, they can still learn to parent effectively with help (Becker-Weidman, A., & Shell, D., 2005/2008; Bick & Dozier, 2008).
USEFUL RESOURCES FOR PARENTS
Becker-Weidman, A., (2007). Principles of Attachment Parenting. 3-set DVD. Williamsville, NY: Center for Family Development.
Becker-Weidman, A., & Shell, D., (Eds.) (2005/2008) Creating Capacity for Attachment, Oklahoma City, OK: Wood N Barnes/ Williamsville, NY: Center For Family Development.
Golding, K., (2008). Nurturing Attachments. London: Jessica Kingsley.
Hughes, D. (2006) Building the Bonds of Attachment, 2nd edition, Jason Aronson, Lanham, MD. .
Siegel, D., & Hartzell, M., (2003). Parenting from the Inside out. Tarcher.
REFERENCES
Becker-Weidman, A., & Shell, D., (Eds.) (2005, 2008). Creating Capacity for Attachment, Oklahoma City, OK: Wood N Barnes & Williamsville, NY: Center for Family Development.
Becker-Weidman, A., (2007). Principles of Attachment Parenting. 3-set DVD. Williamsville, NY: Center for Family Development.
Becker-Weidman, A., & Hughes, D., (2008) “Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy: An evidence-based treatment for children with complex trauma and disorders of attachment,” Child & Adolescent Social Work, 13, pp.329-337.
Bick, J., & Dozier, M., (2008). Helping Foster Parents Change. In H. Steele & M. Steele (Eds.), Clinical Applications of the Adult Attachment Interview (pp. 452-471). NY: Guilford.
Carlson, V., Cicchetti, D., Barnett, D., & Braunwald, K. (1995). Finding order in disorganization: Lessons from research on maltreated infants’ attachments to their caregivers. In D. Cicchetti & V. Carlson (Eds.), Child maltreatment: Theory and research on the causes and consequences of child abuse and neglect (pp. 135–157). NY: Cambridge University Press.
Cicchetti, D., Cummings, E. M., Greenberg, M. T., & Marvin, R. S. (1990). An organizational perspective on attachment beyond infancy. In M. Greenberg, D. Cicchetti & M. Cummings (Eds.), Attachment in the preschool years (pp. 3–50). Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Cook, A., Blaustein, M., Spinazolla, J. & van der Kolk, B. (2003) Complex Trauma in Children and Adolescents. White Paper from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network Complex Trauma Task Force. National Center for Child Traumatic Stress, Los Angeles, CA.
Cook, A., Spinazzola, J., Ford, J., Lanktree, C., Blaustein, M., Cloitre, M. et al. (2005) Complex trauma in children and adolescents. Psychiatric Annals, 35, 390–398.
Dozier, M., Stovall, K., Albus, K., & Bates, B. (2001). Attachment for infants in foster care: The role of caregiver state of mind. Child Development, 72, 1467-1477.
Dozier, M., Grasso, D., Lindhiem, O., & Lewis, E., (2007) “The role of caregiver commitment in foster care,” in D. Oppenheim & D. Goldsmith, (Eds.) Attachment Theory in Clinical Work with Children. NY: Guilford.
Dozier, M., Stovall, K. C., & Albus, K. (1999). Attachment and psychopathology in adulthood. In J. Cassidy & P. Shaver (Eds.), Handbook of attachment (pp. 497–519). NY: Guilford Press.
Finzi, R., Cohen, O., Sapir, Y., & Weizman, A. (2000). Attachment styles in maltreated children: A comparative study. Child Development and Human Development, 31, 113–128.
Gauthier, L., Stollak, G., Messe, L., & Arnoff, J. (1996). Recall of childhood neglect and physical abuse as differential predictors of current psychological functioning. Child Abuse and Neglect, 20, 549–559.
Greenberg, M. (1999). Attachment and psychopathology in childhood. In J. Cassidy & P. Shaver (Eds.), Handbook of attachment (pp. 469–496). NY: Guilford Press.
Koren-Karie, N., Oppenheim, D., Dolev S., Sher, E., & Etzion-Carasso, E. (2002). Mothers’ insightfulness regarding their infants’ internal experience: Relations with maternal sensitivity and infant attachment. Developmental Psychology, 38, 534-542.
Lyons-Ruth, K., & Jacobvitz, D. (1999). Attachment disorganization: Unresolved loss, relational violence and lapses in behavioral and attentional strategies. In J. Cassidy & P. Shaver (Eds.), Handbook of attachment (pp. 520–554). NY: Guilford Press.
Main, M., & Cassidy, J. (1988). Categories of response to reunion with the parent at age six: Predictable from infant attachment classifications and stable over a one-month period. Developmental Psychology, 24, 415–426.
Main, M., & Hesse, E. (1990). Parents’ unresolved traumatic experiences are related to infant disorganized attachment status. In M. T. Greenberg, D. Ciccehetti & E. M. Cummings (Eds.), Attachment in the preschool years: Theory, research, and intervention (pp. 161–184). Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Malinosky-Rummell, R., & Hansen, D. J. (1993). Long-term consequences of childhood physical abuse. Psychological Bulletin, 114, 68–69.
Oppenheim, D., Koren-Karie, N., & Sagi, A. (2001). Mothers’ empathic understanding of their preschoolers’ internal experience: Relations with early attachment. International Journal of Behavioral Development., 25, 16-26.
Oppenheim, D. & Koren-Karie, N. (2002). Mothers’ Insightfulness Regarding their Children’s Internal Worlds: The capacity underlying secure child-mother relationships. Infant Mental Health Journal, 23(6), 593-605.
Oppenheim, D., Goldsmith, D., & Koren-Karie, N. (2005). Maternal Insightfulness and preschoolers’ emotion and behavior problems: Reciprocal influences in a day-treatment program. Infant Mental Health Journal.
Prino, C. T., & Peyrot, M. (1994). The effect of child physical abuse and neglect on aggressive withdrawn, and prosocial behavior. Child Abuse and Neglect, 18, 871–884.
Robins, L. N. (1978). Longitudinal studies: Sturdy childhood predictors of adult antisocial behavior. Psychological Medicine, 8, 611–622.
Schreiber, R., & Lyddon, W. J. (1998). Parental bonding and current psychological functioning among childhood sexual abuse survivors. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 45, 358–362.
Steele, M., Hodges, J., Kaniuk, J., Steele, H., Hillman, S., & Asquith, K., (2008). Forcasting Outcomes in Previously Maltreated Children. In H. Steele & M. Steele (Eds.), Clinical Applications of the Adult Attachment Interview (pp. 427-452). NY: Guilford.
Arthur Becker-Weidman, Ph.D. received his PhD. from the University of Maryland?s Institute for Child Study. He has achieved Diplomate Status in Child Psychology and Forensic Psychology from the American Board of Psychological Specialties. He is a Registered Clinician with the Association for the Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children.
Dr. Becker-Weidman has been treating the families of adoptive and foster children for over two decades. As Director of the Center For Family Development he consults with Department?s of Social Services, Residential Treatment Centers, and Mental Health Clinics throughout the US, Canada, and Internationally. Dr. Becker-Weidman?s work has focused on the evaluation and treatment of adopted and foster children and their families, Complex-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Alcohol Related Neurological Dysfunction (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder or FAS). He provides training and workshops to parents and professionals across the U.S. and internationally. Dr. Becker-Weidman practices Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy and trains therapists in the practice of this evidence-based and effective treatment.
He is an adjunct Clinical Professor at the State University of New York at Buffalo.
He is the co-editor of the book, Creating Capacity for Attachment, published by Wood ?N? Barnes in 2005. He is finishing work on a book about Attachment-Facilitating Parenting that is expected to be published in 2009.
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This is my first experiance breast feeding and the weight of my breasts is making it difficult to find a cofortable position. Some positons are even causing headaches. My son is only a week old so I’m just starting to produce more milk, but if we keep this up he will be just as unhappy as I am.
Here are seven ideas to think about to enrich your parenting in the coming year, beginning with easy immediate things you can do, through to more intensive approaches, which can lead to meaningful and lasting change in your relationship with your child.
1. Read a parenting book or two this year. Read about issues that are relevant to you and your child or simply soak up information about the age-group of your child so you are prepared for the changes ahead.
2. Do some research on the internet. Government agencies often have terrific websites for parents including free downloadable tip sheets that can be very helpful. Other websites can be helpful too – but always be careful to check the authenticity of the site and its information.
3. Talk to your friends about parenting and your children’s behaviours. This might seem a little obvious but it is a great way to understand whether your children are exhibiting normal behaviour for their age and to hear how other parents deal with it. This is something that mothers tend to do more than dads, so if you are a dad talk with your mates about what being a parent is like for you. It can be very reassuring to hear similar stories from other parents.
4. Join a support group. If your child has a particular special need, a support group can be very encouraging, while keeping you up to date with latest research and developments.
5. Attend some parent education classes. These classes offer interesting and up to date information about children or teenagers, particular parenting issues and how to handle them. Group workshops also have the advantage of parents linking in with other parents. This often allows parents to appreciate that what they are experiencing is normal.
6. Attend some parent-coaching workshops. Parent-coaching allows even deeper change for the parent because parents are encouraged to look at their way of being with their children and to make individual change for closer relationships. The best coaches ask really thought provoking questions and allow the parent to come up with their own solutions. Like parent education workshops, parent-coaching workshops also have the advantage of connecting parents with other parents.
7. Have some individual parent-coaching. This is a powerful way to make deep and lasting change in your relationship with your child. Coaching can be offered face to face or over the phone, which is a wonderful option for busy modern day parents.
Whether you try one of these seven options or other ideas you may have to benefit your parenting; there will be two winners in 2009: you and your children.
All the best for your parenting in 2009. May it be a year where you continue to learn and grow in your ever changing and vitally important role.
By: Barbara Beccari
About the Author:
Barbara Beccari M.Ed and parent-coach, is co-author of a beautiful children’s picture book about respectful relationships. Barbara is co-founder of parentSCOPE, a parent-coaching business acknowledged for its innovation. parentSCOPE supports parents to have loving and close relationships with their children, from toddlers to teens. Check out http://www.parentscope.com.au to find out more.
napcan’s latest campaign for a Child Friendly Australia.
Me and my ex-husband have joint custody of our two children, ages 13 and 14, with my ex having primary residence. My son fights with his father constantly and wants to live with me. The 13 year old gets along ok with dad but also wants to live with me. Do I have to go back to court to get our arrangement changed if dad refuses to make the change voluntarily?
Image taken on 2002-07-07 11:59:09 by Madbuster75.